A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He
mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded, Why would
anyone want to go there. Its crowded and dirty and full of
Italians. You are crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you
We're taking TWA, was the reply. We got a great rate!
TWA! exclaimed the barber. That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they are
always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?
We'll be staying at the downtown International Marriott.
That dump! That's the worst hotel in Rome, The rooms are
small, the service is surly and they are overpriced. So,
whatcha doing when you get there?
We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the
Thats rich, laughed the barber. You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good
luck on this lousy trip of yours. You are going to need it!
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut.
The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.
It was wonderful, explained the man, not only were we on time
in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and
they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were
wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28-year-old stewardess who
waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel! Well, it was great! They'd just finished a $25
million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the
city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave
us the presidential suite at no extra charge!
Well, muttered the barber, I know you didn't get to see the
Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a
Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the
pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind
as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would
personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the pope
walked in. As I knelt down he spoke a few words to me.
What'd he say?
He asked me, " Where'd you get that shitty haircut?"