Real Stupid Real People          Back to Lists  /  Back Home

How do these people survive?
  ONE Recently, when I went to Mc Donald's I saw on
  the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
  Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
  "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
  at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only
  have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't
  order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
  "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
  TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with
  just a few items and the lady behind me put her things
  on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
  "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
  placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
  mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
  she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for
  the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the
  bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
  is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't
  think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid
  her for the things and left. She had no clue what
  had just happened.
  THREE I saw a lady at work putting a credit
  card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
  quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
  said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
  asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
  ATM "thingy."
  FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
  her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She
  replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to
  this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
  car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
  convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
  "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
  it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and
  manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
  drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
  long walk."
  FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was
  none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
  secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
  What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
  secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
  last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
  photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
  SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a
  large motor home was towed into the garage. The front
  of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
  whole thing generally looked like an extra in
  "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
  told me that the driver had set the cruise control"
  and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
  SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department
  in the central office of a large bank. Employees in
  the field call him when they have problems with their
  computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one
  of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got
  smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys
  have a fire downtown?"
  EIGHT Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a
  suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
  connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
  message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
  police pressed the copy button each time they thought
  the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the
  "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
  NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
  dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
  emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
  dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and
  should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some
  ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to Emergency.
  Life is tough.
  It's tougher if you're stupid!


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