T-SHIRT SAYINGS      Back to Lists       Back Home

(1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

 (2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

 (3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare depend on Me!

 (4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

 (5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

(6) Don't take life too seriously . . . no one gets out alive.

 (7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

(8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

 (9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

 (10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

 (11) I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.

 (12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

 (13) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

 (14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not
 screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 (15) God must love stupid people; he made so many.

 (16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

 (17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

 (18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

 19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

 (20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

(21) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island
 cleanup team.

 (22) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!

 (23) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes!

 (24) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)

 (25) Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

(26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

(27) Procrastinate Now

 (28) Rehab Is for Quitters

 29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

 (30) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?

(31) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.

 (32) Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've been doing since I was 15


 (34) West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last names

 (35) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.


 (37) A hangover is the wrath of grapes

 (38) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

 (39) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!!

 (40) DISCOURAGE INBREEDING -- Ban Country Music

(41) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

 (42) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

(43) Time's fun when you're having flies . . . Kermit the Frog

 (44) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.

(45) FOR SALE -- Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.


 (47) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up > > > > > > > a thousand times the memory.

(48) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through
with it.

 (49) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 50) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

(51) WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years!

(52) The trouble with life is there's no background music.


(54) The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

(55)  Daytona Biker Week Shirt- "I'm only wearing black until they come up with something darker."

(56)  "Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"

(57)  "Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair"

(58)  "I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man... I've Been Practicing Since1949"

(59)  "Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton"

(60)  "Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"

(61)  "Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes... Use Birth Control"

(62)  "If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"

(63)  "If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There"

(64)  "My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
.... He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse"

(65)  "You Who Think You Know It All Are Damn Annoying to Those of Us Who Do"

(66)  "I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About"

(67)  "I'm on a 30-Day Diet. So Far I've Lost 15 Days"

(68)  "Your Kid May Be an Honor Student, But You're Still an idiot"

(69)  "I Do Whatever the Voices Tell Me to Do"

(70)  "Parents of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young"

(71)  "I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead."

(72)  "Procrastinate Now"

(73)  (Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect Man"

 (74)  "Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat"

 (75)  "The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley"

(76)  "In dog years, I'm dead."

(77)  "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

(78)  "If I had any idea I'd live so long, I'dda taken better care of myself."

(79)  "Hang up and Drive"

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