South Carolina Humor               Redneck  Back Home

The owner of a golf course in South Carolina was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He
called her into his office and said,

 "You  graduated from the University of South Carolina

 and I need some  help.  If I were to give you $20,000,

 minus 14%, how much would you  take off?"

 The secretary thought a moment, then replied,

 "Everything  but my earrings."


A group  of South Carolina friends went deer hunting and paired off  in twos
for the day.  That night, one of the hunters

returned alone,  staggering under the weight of an eight-point

buck. "Where's Henry?"  the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind.  He's a couple of

 miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

 "You left  Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"

 the hunters  asked. "Tough call," nodded the hunter.  "But as I figure it
no one is going to steal Henry."


 A senior  in  South Carolina was overheard saying - "when the  end of the
world  comes, I hope to be in South Carolina."  When asked why, he replied
he'd rather be in South Carolina because everything happens there 20  years
later than the rest of the civilized world.


 The young man from South Carolina came running into  the store  and said to
his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just jumped in your  pickup and stole it from
the parking lot!" Bubba said, "Did you see who it  was?" Young man replied,
Nope, I couldn't tell,  but I got the license  number."


 A   South Carolina State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-95. The trooper
asked "Got any ID?" The driver answered, "Bout whut?"


 A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road  and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in  front of the pickup and one behind it.  Then he got back in the pickup  to wait.  A passerby studied the scene as he drove by  and was so  curious he turned
around and went back. He asked  the fellow what the  problem was.  The man
replied, "I have a  flat tire."  The  passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man answers: "When you  break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the  back! I never did understand why.


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