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Thanks to Sammie for sending this one!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his  
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample

tomorrow.'  

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared

at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the  
previous day.  

The doctor asked what happened and the man

explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.  

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with

her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.  

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door

and she tried too, first with both hands, then between her feet, and she even tried squeezin' it between her thighs, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked!

'You asked your neighbor?'    
 
The old man replied,

'Yep, not one of us could get  the jar open.'
 

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