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JLVeer sent this one:

If You Grew Up in the Rural Midwest:
  You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
  You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
  You know it is traditional for the bride and
  groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding
  You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery,
  And would fight with your friends on the playground
  over which was better!
  You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
  You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your
  You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you
  don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
  You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess"
  at the county fair.
  You know that "combine" is a noun.
  You let your older siblings talk you into
  putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
  You know Lutheran and Catholic are THE major
  You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".
  Football schedules, hunting season and harvest
  are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
  A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your
  Girlfriend shining for deer.
  Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
  There was at least one, if not several, in your
  class who had to help milk cows in the morning.
  You have driven your car on the lake.
  You can make sense of "upnort" and "baatree".
  Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey
  pokey and the chicken dance.
  Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
  The local gas station sells live bait.
  At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat
  processing plant.
  You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
  You actually understand these jokes and will
  forward them to all your Midwest friends!

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