The Rhyme Contest        Back to Man vs. Woman / Back Home

Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!

ENTRIES MADE TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE 
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND 
LINE: 
 
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: 
Marrying you screwed up my life. 
 
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. 
  
Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot;
This describes everything you are not. 
 
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed. 
 
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother. 
 
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, 
and so is your head. 
 
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face. 
 
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ...
Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 
 
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way? 
 
My feelings for you no words can tell, 
Except for maybe "Go to hell." 
 
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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