Advice from a Retired Golfing Husband       Man vs. Woman  /  Back Home

Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow
  older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same
  quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you
  notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
  oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
  oversensitive woman.
  My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation
  with my wife, Terri. When I retired a few years ago, it
  became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with
  her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health
  benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working,
  noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get
  home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
  from work.
  Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
  she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
  dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take
  her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
  I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so
  eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
  home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the
  dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
  unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
  I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several
  times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I
  know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to
  motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
  Another symptom of aging is complaining, I
  think.  For example she will say that it is difficult
  for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
  lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse,
  so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to
  stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she
  won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that
  missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
  any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one
  of my strong points.
  When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more
  rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only
  half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a
  scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
  nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
  sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for
  herself, she may as well make one for me too.
  I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I
  support Terri. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is
  easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
  impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating
  women get as they get older.  However, guys, even if
  you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your
  aging wife because of this article, I will consider that
  writing it was well worthwhile After all; we are put on this
  earth to help each other.

  Jim died suddenly on February 7 of a perforated
  rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway
  extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up
  his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a
  sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife Terri was arrested and
  charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes
  to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim,
  somehow without looking, accidentally
  sat down on his golf club.  


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