Pun-tificating Back to Lists / Back Home
Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!
* I wondered why the baseball
was getting bigger, then it hit
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement and became a
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden are charged with
* We'll never run out of math teachers, because they always
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard when he did
a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on
* Dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* A bicycle can't stand alone, because it is two tired.
* The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a
spectacle of himself. (That's a story that lens itself.)
* Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's
your Count that votes.
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France which resulted
in Linoleum Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song, because he couldn't find the key.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* His parents thought he was a budding genius, but turned out to
be a blooming idiot.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
* Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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