Politically Correct Gossip               Back to Lists  /  Back Home

Thanks to Keith L. for sending this one!

How to be politically correct

when you gossip about women...

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

 
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

 
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

 
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

 
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

 
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

 
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

 
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

 
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

 
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

 
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

 
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

 
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

 
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

 
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

 
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

 
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

 
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

 
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

 
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

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