15 Police Comments         Goofy Stuff / Lists / Back Home

            The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police
            car  videos around the country.
             #15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
            new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
             #14. "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your
            birth certificate a worthless document." (My personal favorite)
             #13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
             #12. "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
            case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired
            from my gun."
             #11. "So, you don't know how fast you were going? I
            guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
             #10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
            but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift
             #9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
            not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
             #8. "The answer to this last question will determine
            whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
             #7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen...fair is a
            place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in
            monkey doo."
             #6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
            wife gets a toaster oven."
             #5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
            have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
             #4. "Just how big were those two beers?"
             #3. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
             #2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
            personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your
             And...............THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!.......Drum Roll
             #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
            You're right, we don't."

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