The Parrot is Dead        Back to Man vs. Woman / Back Home

Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the
     caretaker at your country house.'
     'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
     'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he
     'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
     'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
     'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he
     'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
     'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
     'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
     'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
     'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
     'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
     'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
     'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
     'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
     'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'
     'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on

     'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of
     candle?? !!'
     'Yes, Senor Rod.'
     'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'
     'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
     'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I
     she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor
     Made Super Quad 460 golf club.'
     SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . .LONG SILENCE . . . . . . .
     . . .
     'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep trouble !!'

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