Only a Southerner Knows...      Back to Redneck  /  Back Home

Thanks to Colorado Doug for this one!

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit
and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you
'PITCH' them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general
direction of 'yonder.'

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is , .
as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.'

Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not
a request for the white, granular sweet substance that
sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble
is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a
real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know
that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a red neck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.

A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a
noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ...
and when we're 'in line,' . we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy
is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes
are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea,''sweet milk,' and
'light bread'Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and
lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. And
'Light bread' is white bread.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities
at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You
just say,'Bless her heart' .. and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your
hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here
for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front
porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as
fast as I could .'

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are
fahevah !

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart,
fake it!

We know you got here as fast as you could.
 

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