Things I Learned From Movies Lists / Back Home
Thanks to Keith L. for adding to this list!
*During all police
investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
*All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
*Beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman; but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
*The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty
*Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
*A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
*Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
*If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
*Cars that crash will invariably burst into flames.
*Stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
*If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.
*Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
*A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
*All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts, so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
*When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
*When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
*One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
*If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.
*Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of an invading alien civilization.
*Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.
*All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.
*Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
*When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
*If you are a hero, you never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by your actions.
*You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
*Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
*You can tell if somebody is British because he will be wearing a bow tie.
*When driving a car, it is normal to look not at the road but rather at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.
*Taxi drivers don't require exact or even approximate payment - the first bill you pull from your pocket is always correct.
*Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's eighth birthday.
*Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before retirement.
*The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
* If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
* All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
* Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
* The Eiffel tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
* If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 6 inches.
* A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
* Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
* Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
* All single women have a cat.
* Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
* Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
* It doesn't not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
* During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.
* When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
* Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
* Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
* It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
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