Southern Medical Terms       Back to Redneck / Back Home

Benign.........................  What you be, after you be eight.
Artery.........................  The study of paintings.
Bacteria.......................  Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.........................  What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section...............  A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan........................  Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize......................  Made eye contact with her.
Colic..........................  A sheep dog.
Coma...........................  A punctuation mark.
D&C............................  Where Washington is.
Dilate.........................  To live long.
Enema..........................  Not a friend.
Fester.........................  Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.........................  A small lie.
Genital........................  Non-Jewish person.
G.I.  Series....................  World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail.......................  What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.......................  Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain.....................  Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff..................  A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.........................  A higher offer.
Nitrates.......................  Cheaper than day rates.
Node...........................  I knew it.
Outpatient.....................  A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear......................  A fatherhood test.
Pelvis.........................  Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.................  A letter carrier.
Recovery Room..................  Place to do upholstery.
Rectum.........................  Damn near killed him.
Secretion......................  Hiding something.
Seizure........................  Roman emperor.
Tablet.........................  A small table.
Terminal Illness...............  Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor..........................  One plus one more.
Urine..........................  Opposite of you're out.


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