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Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!

Wife:    'What are you doing?'
Husband :  Nothing.
Wife :   'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour.'
Husband :         'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.' 
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
there be greater than this one?' 
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Stress Reliever Girl:
'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.' 
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles.' 
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
----------------------------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me
to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
 ------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?' 
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face
or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of
humor!'

 

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