The Laws of Life         Back to Lists  /  Back Home

Thanks to Lisa for sending this one!

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
&   Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
&   Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

&  Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,  the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

&   Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
&   Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 
&   Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
&   Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
&   Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
&   Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor  covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
&   Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are. 

 &  Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

&   Brown's Law 
If the shoe fits, it's ugly. 

 &   Oliver's Law  
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

&     Wilson 's Law  
 As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.  (this one is true every time!) 

 &  Doctors' Law   If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there, you'll feel better.  Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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