Infantry, Armored, Artillery               Back to War / Back Home

Thanks to Keith L. for sending this one!

The Difference Between the Infantry, the Artillery and the Armored

HAPPINESS IS . . . 
Infantry: A good rifle 
Armored: A big tank 
Artillery: A loud boom 

UPON HEARING FIREWORKS 

Infantry: Cool, just like a live fire exercise 
Armored: Not loud enough 
Artillery: Fireworks? What fireworks? 

OTHER TRADES 

Infantry: Waste of rations 
Armored: Waste of rations 
Artillery: Waste of rations 

IDEA OF FUN 
Infantry: Not having to "pepper-pot" an entire grid square before the objective 
Armored: Racing across a grid square on "full stab" 
Artillery: Leveling a grid square 

FAVOURITE SONG 
Infantry: "Ballad of the Green Beret" 
Armored: "Purple Haze" 
Artillery: Anything, just play it LOUD! 

BIGGEST LUXURY IN THE FIELD 
Infantry: Engineers blowing trenches for them with C4 
Armored: Grunts to dig their trenches for them 
Artillery: Cable 

A LONG ROUTE MARCH WITH FULL KIT 

Infantry: 20 clicks 
Armored: From the hangars to the tank 
Artillery: What's a route march? 

OFFICERS 
Infantry: Are morons and should stay away from the trenchlines 
Armored: Are morons and should stay out of the vehicles 
Artillery: Are morons and should stay away from the gun lines 

FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION 

Infantry: Anything but walking 
Armored: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS! 
Artillery: Don't you have to move around to require transport? 

BIGGEST GRIPE IN THE FIELD 

Infantry: The weather 
Armored: Coffee maker in tank not working 
Artillery: Only having basic cable 


BREAKFAST IN THE FIELD 

Infantry: I don't care what it is, just so long as I can sit down to eat it 
Armored: Hot coffee and rum with a beer chaser 
Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton's coffee 

WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES 
Infantry: Death Techs 
Armored: Cavalry 
Artillery: 10 Mile Snipers 

WHAT OTHERS CALL THEM 

Infantry: Grunts 
Armored: Zipperheads 
Artillery: Drop shorts 

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