Hormone Hostage            Back to Man vs. Woman  /  Back Home

Note:  We can't tell if this one was written by a MAN or a WOMAN!!!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
 man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
 hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
 license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
 other.

 DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
 SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
 SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
 ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
 SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
 SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
 ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
 SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
 SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
 ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
 SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
 SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
 ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
 SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
 SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
 ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

 Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
 need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning!

 And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings!!

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