Gripe Sheets          Back to Workplace  /  Back to Lists Back Home

NOTE:  We got this on e-mail.  We have blocked the name of the airline in case it's not true. True or not, this is funny:

After every flight, <airline name>  pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet," which conveys to the mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing to describe what remedial action was taken.  The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.  Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by <airline name> pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, <airline name>  is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.

 (P: = The problem logged by the pilot.)
 (S: = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

  P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
  S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
  P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
  S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
  P: Something loose in cockpit.
  S: Something tightened in cockpit.
  P: Dead bugs on windshield.
  S: Live bugs on back-order.
  P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
     feet per minute ascent.
  S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
  P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
  S: Evidence removed.
  P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
  S: DME volume set to more believable level.
  P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
  S: That's what they're there for.
  P: IFF inoperative.
  S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
  P: Suspected crack in windshield.
  S: Suspect you're right.
  P: Number 3 engine missing.
  S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
  P: Aircraft handles funny.
  S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
     be serious.
  P: Target radar hums.
  S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
  P: Mouse in cockpit.
  S: Cat installed.
  P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
     like a midget pounding
     on something with a hammer.
  S: Took hammer away from midget


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