A Fine Excuse                    Man vs. Woman  /  Back Home

Thanks to Lisa for sending this one!

The wife came home early and found her husband in
their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a pig!' she cried. 'How
dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I want a divorce!'
The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute,
Love, at least let me tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'Say the very last words you'll ever say to me!'

And the husband began:
'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and distraught that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, shabbily dressed and very
dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I
made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because
you're afraid you'll gain weight. The poor thing devoured them.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and
while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full
of holes, so I threw them away.
Therefore, she needed something else to wear. I gave her the
expensive designer jeans you bought awhile back, but don't wear
because you say they not the 'in' brand this year.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you belittled because I don't have good
taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that
you refuse wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you
bought at the expensive boutique, but won't wear because your cousin bought the same pair.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued: 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help
that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please---do you have anything else that your wife
doesn't use?"


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