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Thanks to JLVeer for sending this one!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but she doesn't really care..

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes
.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does
.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.


7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...


8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!


12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then they marry him.


13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Man vs. Woman  /  Back Home

 

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