Dog and Cat Diaries        Back to Pets  /  Back Home

The Dog's diary:

7 a.m. - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 a.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 a.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 p.m. - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 p.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 p.m. - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 p.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 p.m. - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 p.m. - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously intellectually challenged.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

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