Dim View on Marriage   Man vs. Woman   /   Back Home

You have two choices in life:  
1.    You can stay single and be miserable,  or
2.    Get married and wish you were dead. 
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"  The other women replied, "Yes I am,
I married the wrong man." 
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A  lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."   
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to
let her keep  him. 
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A  little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to  get
married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still  paying." 
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Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of  Africa a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son. 
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There was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married; and by then it was too late." 
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say,  talk in your sleep. 
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all. 
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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she. 
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Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what? 
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First guy:    "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy:   "You're lucky, mine's still alive." 
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a beer gut, and still think they are attractive.

 

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