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Thanks to Jeff for sending this one!

DEFINITIONS NOT IN THE DICTIONARY

 
ADULT:  A person who has stopped growing at both
ends and is now growing in the middle.
 
BEAUTY PARLOR:  A place where women curl up
and dye.
 
CANNIBAL:  Someone who is fed up with people.
 
CHICKENS:  The only animals you eat before they
are born and after they are dead.
 
COMMITTEE:  A body that keeps minutes and
wastes hours.
 
DUST:  Mud with the juice squeezed out.
 
EGOTIST:  Someone who is usually me-deep
in conversation.
 
HANDKERCHIEF:   Cold Storage.
 
INFLATION:  Cutting money in half without damaging
the paper.
 
MOSQUITO:  An insect that makes you like flies
better.
 
RAISIN:  Grape with a sunburn.
 
SECRET:  Something you tell to one person at a time.
 
SKELETON:  A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
 
 TOOTHACHE:  The pain that drives you to extraction.
 
TOMORROW:  One of the greatest labor saving devices
of today
 

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