Cooter's Strange Dream          Back to Redneck  /  Back Home

Thanks to Dennis for sending this one.  Whatta hoot!

Cooter came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.
 He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in  your sleep, Cooter."
 Cooter was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be, I've got too much to live for. I gotta go huntin' and fishin' and drinkin' and stuff! Send me back!"
 St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back: as a chicken."
 Cooter was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
 The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your  first day here?"
 "Not bad," replied Cooter the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"
 "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
 "Never," said Cooter. "Well, just relax and let it happen," said the rooster.
 Cooter did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!  Cooter was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg--his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dangit Cooter - Wake UP. You're crappin' in the BED!"

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