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Thanks to Deaf Bob for sending this one!

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
 
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
 
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
 
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. Created by boiling the HELL out of it.
 
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
 
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
 
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
 
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
 
JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.
 
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
 
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. 
(for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)
 
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
 
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's 
way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
 
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
 
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the 
celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
 
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to 
beat the crowd to the parking lot.
 
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, 
and stand.
 
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
 
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

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