Bricklayer Incident               Back to Jokes  /  Back Home

Thanks to Jeff C. for sending this one!

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for
additional  information in Block 3 of the accident report
form. I put "poor planning"  as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and  I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building.
When I completed my work, found that I had some bricks left over which,
when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided
to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the
bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form
that I weigh 175 lbs.
 
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel
which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.

This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions
and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report
form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into
the pulley.  Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind
and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to
experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of
the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the
side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel
coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter
with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell
into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and
presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty
barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken
legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Bill Fuller

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