Adult Truths          Back to Lists  /  Back Home

Thanks to Mary Lou for sending this one!

Worth reading to the end
  
 
 
*** Adult Truths  ***

1. I  think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your  computer history if you die.
 
2. Nothing  sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're  wrong.
 
3. I totally  take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was  younger.
 
4. There is  great need for a sarcasm font.
 
5. How the  hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
 
6. Was  learning cursive really necessary?
 
7. Map Quest  really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know  how to get out of my neighborhood.
 
8.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the  person died.
 
9. I can't  remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
 
10. Bad  decisions make good stories.
 
11. You  never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when  you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the  rest of the day.
 
12. Can we  all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want  to have to restart my collection...again.
 
13. I'm  always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I  want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear  I did not make any changes to.
 
14. I keep  some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer  when they call.
 
15. I think  the freezer deserves a light as well.
 
16. I  disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or  Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
 
17. I wish  Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
 
18. I have a  hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and  hunger.
 
19. How many times is it appropriate to say  "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or  understand a word they said?
 
20. I love  the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to  prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.. Stay strong, brothers  and sisters!
 
21. Shirts  get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you  can wear them forever.
 
22.  Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not  know what time it is.
 
23. Even  under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in  a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey  - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet  away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
 
24. The  first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the  first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for  men to realize that their brain is also important.
 
Ladies.....Quit  Laughing.

 

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