Note: Since this was written by yours truly several years ago, the barber shop and the barber himself have indeed disappeared, just as I pointed out...
I get my hair cut at a genuine old-fashioned Southern barber shop. The barber shops here (and I guess everywhere) are a dying institution, disappearing exactly as fast as the old-fashioned barbers do.
The barber shop is more of a gathering place than it is a point of service. The haircut itself is almost secondary after all the talk. Tall tales abound with a cuss word in every sentence. It's that way until some guy brings in a kid for a buzz cut, and then the talk gets more G-rated about football and stuff. Some gems gleaned from recent visits:
* One of the customers is getting up in years. He told the barber, "I'm getting too old to push a lawn mower, but I don't want to get a riding mower. My yard's not that big. I think I'll go get me one of those self-compelled mowers."
* The barber is just about to get old enough to start collecting Social Security. He points out that with the amount of money you draw, you can't be social OR secure.
* The barber grew up with a fellow who said, "No shit," so often during normal conversation until that's what they nicknamed him - No Shit. The guy might say, "I'm going fishing tomorrow, no shit. You wanna go?"
One night they were all drinking at the Amvets Club, and a guy drew a crowd around No Shit to make a loud bet. He said, "Hey, No Shit! I'll bet you ten dollars you can't go ten minutes without saying, 'No shit.'"
No Shit took the bait. He shook the guy's hand vigorously and while still shaking hands he said, "I'll take that bet. In fact, I'll bet you twenty right now I can go a whole hour, no shit!"