It's YOUR Insanity - Keep it Alive!     Back to Lists    Back Home

To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a blow dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won" 3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20.  And last - we've seen this one's Christmas time at the mall, when traffic is at its worst.  Come OUT of the mall, and then stand beside one of the cars parked right up front, next to the handicapped spaces.  Take your car keys out and play with them like you're fixing to unlock the car.  Watch everybody back up and position themselves to take that place.  When gridlock is obvious and tempers flare, put your keys back up and keep walking to where your car is parked a quarter mile away.

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