Ponderings from George Carlin Back to Carlin Back Home
From George Carlin:
* Does killing time damage eternity?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
* Why is it when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
* Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
* Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?
* Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How can there be self-help "groups?"
* How do you get off a non-stop flight?
* How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
* How many weeks are in a light year?
* If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
* If you're traveling faster than the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?
* If Barbie's so popular, why do all her friends have to be bought?
* If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
* If cats and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?
* If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are Girl Scout cookies made from?
* If swimming is good for your shape, why do whales look the way they do?
* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disOriented?
* Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
* Why do we sing, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," when we're already there?
* Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "Rush Hour?"
* Why do we park on driveways, drive on parkways, and pay toll on freeways?
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