Ponderings from George Carlin      Back to Carlin    Back Home         

From George Carlin:

*  Does killing time damage eternity?

*  Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

*  Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

*  Why is it when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

*  Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

*  Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

*  Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?

*  Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

*  Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

*  How can there be self-help "groups?"

*  How do you get off a non-stop flight?

*  How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

*  How many weeks are in a light year?

*  If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?

*  If you're traveling faster than the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?

*  If Barbie's so popular, why do all her friends have to be bought?

*  If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

*  If cats and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?

*  If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are Girl Scout cookies made from?

*  If swimming is good for your shape, why do whales look the way they do?

*  If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disOriented?

*  Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

*  Why do we sing, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," when we're already there?

*  Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "Rush Hour?"

*  Why do we park on driveways, drive on parkways, and pay toll on freeways?

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