Fun Things to Do at the Big Variety Store Back to Lists Back Home
* Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they're not looking.
* Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at five minute intervals.
* Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the restrooms.
* Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code Three in house wares," and see what happens.
* Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
* Move a "Caution- Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
* Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them inside if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
* When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me ALONE?"
* Look straight into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
* While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
* Dart around the store suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
* In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
* Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "Pick ME! Pick ME!"
* When an announcement comes over the PA system, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those VOICES again!"
* And finally...go into a fitting room a yell really loudly, "HEY! We're out of toilet paper in here!!"
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